MY BOY, MIKAL - Yvesline Brunache
My husband and I were still in the early months of our marriage when I got pregnant. We were happy. My pregnancy is great and everything is fine until I am almost 5 months old. I am suddenly in severe pain. As I was in a lot of pain, I decided to go to the emergency room to find out.
Worried, in bad shape I have to spend the night in the emergency room. The medical team present is convinced that all is well. However, just to be sure, I am told that an ultrasound will be done the next morning. I will never forget that moment when my life changed.
As expected, in the morning, I am taken to the ultrasound room. And it is in a detached tone, absent of emotion that the technician announces to me that the cervix of my uterus is almost erased. It is very likely that I will have to be bedridden until the end of my pregnancy. Shaken, panic took hold of me and I feel the walls closing in on me. I now had to contact those around me, one by one, to inform them of my new reality. Impossible for me to remain calm. Distraught and frightened, it is impossible for me to explain my distress to those close to me.
My parents come to join me at the hospital. The medical team presents me with three options:
1. We try to make a strapping. The risk is high, as it may puncture the bag
amniotic which is already very low.
2. The pregnancy is terminated.
3. We let time pass and we observe, wishing that being completely bedridden, I can reach at least 26 weeks.
All of his options are equally bad and I'm not sure which is the best choice for me.
After I have exhausted all my tears, I realize I have to pull myself together. I have to make what I consider the most important (and difficult) decision of my life. Our faith is great, my husband and I choose to tie ourselves to it as a lifeline. No matter what happens, we are Christians and we trust God. Once we made our decision, our daily life changed and a new routine took hold. I have a mission to accomplish: to stay in bed to keep my little guy. Yep, he's a little boy! After many daughters, Mikal is the first male baby of the Brunache line. Papa and grandpa are in heaven.
Like every evening, my husband is present and we have dinner together. I still remember this delicious grilled vegetable wrap! Meal over, I have a cat in my throat causing a cough and suddenly I hear (and feel) a splash in my crotch. I burst my waters. I know what that means. They are not going to try to save my baby. My son, Mikal was born during the night of December 13-14, 2013. This pregnancy has transformed our lives.
For me, that was the trigger for several changes. I did a big clean up in my entourage and I moved away from people who were only thinking of them. I assert myself a lot more and I do what I want to do. For my husband, the side effects were felt a few years later, after the birth of our first daughter. It was only then that the reality of what he had lost hit him hard. It is important for him to always take the time for his daughters and whatever he cannot do with his prince Mikal, he wants to do with them.
Yes, we are aware that what we have lost is immeasurable. Mikal is our first and only son, but I gave birth to him. He only lived for a few seconds, but I still gave life to this little being. It was he who forced me to get to know myself, to respect myself and to become stronger. For us, this is what Mikal represents: strength of character, renewal, the power that we acquire after distress and despair. God will always show us the light.
Having a growing need to want to honor his memory forever, I started looking for different commemorative items that were even going to create some. So I decided to add a string to my bow by wanting to offer a shop whose mission is to bring parents this comfort that has done me so good. So, I shared this beautiful project with a friend and from there was born Our little treasures .